Everyday sales skills: Respond, don't react

💡 Highlights

• Self-discipline & emotional control win negotiations [02:06]

• Don’t react, respond [03:12]

• Ask questions to take back control [04:46]

• Example: Employee asks for raise [05:59]

• …And more! 

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Whether you're chatting with your boss, dealing with your kids, or just figuring out where to grab dinner with friends, you're negotiating aka SELLING. And I’m gonna break down how basic sales skills can help you in everyday life. We'll look at why keeping your cool is so important, how asking questions helps you take control, and why seeing things from the other person's side can give you the upper hand.

Why you need to know how to negotiate

Negotiation isn't just for boardrooms or sales calls. It's a crucial skill for:

• Business owners leading teams

• Salespeople managing client relationships

• Anyone aspiring to leadership roles

• Individuals seeking personal growth

Even if you're not in a power position yet, these skills will serve you as you climb the ladder.

Self-discipline wins negotiations

This might be hard to hear, especially if you're passionate and excited about your ideas. But emotional control is key to maintaining a power position in any negotiation.

Responding vs. reacting

Reacting is a visceral, emotional response. It often leads to:

• Miscommunication

• Conflict

• Unnecessary escalation

Responding, on the other hand, involves:

• Seeing the situation from the other person's perspective

• Remaining calm

• De-escalating the situation

• Maintaining your power position

How to respond and not react

1. Use Questions Instead of Statements

When faced with a challenging situation, resist the urge to make accusatory statements. Instead, respond with questions. This approach:

• Helps you understand the other person's perspective

• Makes your communication more effective

• Strengthens your negotiation position

2. Practice Emotional Control

Self-control is crucial, especially when you're passionate about something. Remember, showing empathy and excitement is fine, but maintain control over your emotions.

3. See Things from Their Perspective

Before responding, try to understand the other person's viewpoint. This can help de-escalate tense situations and position you back in a place of power.

Real-life application: Employee wants a raise

Imagine an employee asks for a raise. Instead of immediately saying no or feeling defensive, try responding with questions like:

• "What has specifically changed over the last few weeks that makes you feel you deserve a raise?"

• "How has your performance changed?"

• "What has changed in the work environment?"

• "How are you helping the company in new ways?"

These questions help you understand their perspective and explore the conversation productively.

Challenge yourself

Think about the triggering conversations in your life. How can you apply these principles to:

• Lead your team more effectively?

• Manage client relationships better?

• Navigate personal interactions smoothly?

It's not always about you

When you feel that visceral reaction to something, remember that the situation, although directed at you, is often not about you. As you grow as a leader, you'll recognize this more quickly.

Mastering “respond, don’t react” will:

• Save you energy

• Put you in a stronger negotiation position

• Make you happier overall

You're not just improving your negotiation skills – you're becoming a better leader and a more effective communicator in all areas of life.

Do you have any personal experiences where you “reacted”? How about “responded”? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.

And if you’re someone like me who loves journaling and habit tracking for self-improvement, get yourself a copy of my High-Performance Sales Habits workbook.