Everyday sales skills: Take the “I” out of negotiation

In partnership with

Timestamps

• Remember the other party wants things too [01:34]

• How my 11-year-old came up with the idea to do his own laundry [02:51]

• Using my sales skills to become a better mom [07:00]

• …And more!

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When we negotiate, we typically focus on our own needs and wants. We say things like:

• I need you to do this

• I want this outcome

• This is important to me

This approach often leads to resistance because it puts the other person on the defensive. They feel like they're being forced into something, rather than choosing it for themselves.

The power of perspective

Instead of focusing on what you want, try to understand what the other person wants. Then, position your needs in a way that aligns with their desires. This creates a win-win scenario where both parties feel heard and satisfied.

Real-life example: The laundry negotiation

Let me share a recent experience from my own life. As a parent, I wanted my 11-year-old son to start doing his own laundry. But instead of demanding it, I used this negotiation technique. Here's how it played out:

1. I intentionally took longer to do his laundry.

2. When he couldn't find his favorite shorts, I explained I hadn't done laundry in a few days.

3. I let him sit with this information, without pushing any agenda.

4. He came back, asking to learn how to do laundry himself.

5. I shared a relatable story about starting to do my own laundry at his age.

6. He eagerly took on the responsibility, seeing it as his idea and a way to have his favorite clothes ready when he wanted them.

The result? A cleaner room, an independent kid, and no arguments or tantrums.

Key Takeaways:

• Let natural circumstances drive interest

• Share relatable stories

• Allow the other person to feel it's their idea

• Focus on how the outcome benefits them

Applying this technique beyond parenting

This approach isn't just for dealing with kids. It can be applied in various situations:

• At work: When proposing new ideas or changes

• In relationships: When discussing shared responsibilities

• In customer service: When handling complaints or requests

• In negotiations: When trying to reach a mutually beneficial agreement

By removing the "I" from your negotiations, you:

1. Become more influential

2. Are perceived as more likable

3. Make others feel heard and seen

4. Achieve your goals with less resistance

5. Create stronger, more collaborative relationships

Negotiation isn't about forcing your will on others. It's about finding common ground and creating solutions that benefit everyone involved. By focusing on the other person's perspective and aligning your needs with their wants, you can achieve remarkable results in both your personal and professional life.

So the next time you find yourself in a negotiation situation, try removing the "I". You might be surprised at how smoothly things go when you put the focus on the other person.

And while we’re on the subject of persuasion, check out my Discovery Call Success Pack to become a better salesperson. I’ll show you how I close 80% of my calls in under 30 minutes.